Tuesday, April 16, 2013

RAT TURD- THE TALE OF GENITAL BEN

***A guest blog by Ben the Rat. Original post date 9/22/2010***


 So, I guess you all have figured out by now that I'm a Rat. Could be because I have said many times that I am a Rat. Name's Ben. 




As you might have gathered the name Ben is quite a thing to be reckoned with amongst us Rats. Stupid humans might be lead to believe that it has something to do with that ridiculous movie. But the truth is that the movie stole the name from an old Vermin Legend. The legend of Genital Ben. He was a real Rat Fuck, that Genital Ben. My cousin actually.




There would be several Bens in my large family. But Genital Ben, his social status wreaked a blemish that would be considered the Blackest of the Black of the Ratted Brood. Blacker than the pits of the Black Death. The true scourge of the Rat community. 

  Hollywood doesn't know shit about us Vermin. Their Willards and Bens have been watered down fairy tales that depict us in ways that are so far removed from actuality that its not even worth getting into. Let us just say that if you see a Rat on a movie screen at any time, the chances of accuracy are a Vile impossibility. The most obvious reason being this..... Do Rats make movies? NO. Who makes movies? Humans. Do humans know jack shit about Rats? Not worth the breath or time to answer that. 

 Genital Ben was a true Rat. He actually gives us Rats a bad name and unless people are dangling us by the tail over a Snake pit, then humans don't want to have anything to do with us. This alone should tell you just how Repugnant of a character this Rat Bastard was, even on his less malignant days. 




First thing I should explain is the name. Genital Ben. I'm not exactly sure where this originated or who coined the phrase, but I do know this much..... Ben had a tendency to gnaw on the genitalia of anything that came within close enough proximity of his choppers.

I had always heard the horror stories of this Dirty Rat that even us Dirty Rats didn't want to draw remote affiliation with, but I tend to take gossip with a grain of poison. I hooked up with Ben at a function on the Neverland compound when I was staying with my good pal MJ.





Being of the Vermin persuasian, we immediately formed a filthy kinship and one night when MJ passed out from drinking too much Kool-Aid, Ben and I set about the mansion for some, what I thought would be, harmless mischief. After all, MJ was my meal ticket in the literal sense of the phrasing as he kept me plump and chock full of the finest cheeses, wines, and party favors. So, it would have made little sense to wreak havoc by biting the hand that feeds me.

Ben immediately set out in proving he could care less about my good fortune and felt it necessary to abuse my generosity in welcoming him into my palace of plenty. He snuck into MJ's private spicy nibbles collection and took GREAT BIG BITES out of each and everything stored carefully by the staff at the masters edible disposal and if that wasn't enough, he went and took the absolute grandest KING SIZED shit that I have ever seen right on the linoleum floor in the kitchen.

Rat turds are rendered toxic when we consume an enormous amount of spicy foods. It's the way the capsicum interacts with our genetic disorder. Such toxicity is also extremely flammable, and Ben took a match to his massive pile of plopage and managed to completely char-grill the cooking area. Luckily, one of MJ'S many Spanish house keeps just happened to be making themselves a glass of horchata and extinguished the fecal inferno.

I was already annoyed as Fuck, but Ben was just getting warmed up it would seem. He set out into MJ's private sleeping quarters which houses several playrooms and bedrooms all decorated with Peter Pan wallpaper. He sharpened one of his claws on a gold bedpost and proceeded to scrawl genitalia on all the pictures of Captain Hook.

Ben is completely obsessed with Genitalia. Anything phallic in nature trances him with utmost fascination. He claims it not to be in a gay way, but rather that dicks are the truest measure of power and Ben is a complete Power Freak. Whatever the attraction I find it to be weird and quite much for my leanings.

I knew that simply asking Ben to stop drawing doo dads on Captain Hook would only piss him off and be met with altercation, so I decided that reinforcements were needed and I set out to find me one of those house keeps. It looked like the party was over and I would find myself choosing luxury over family and be needing to have Ben removed from the compound.

I set forth down the hall towards the security room, but before I got very far I heard the most blood curdling feminine bellowing that I would ever hear in my Filthy existence. I knew from the shrillness of the tone that these screams were far removed from being pleasureable. It was MJ. Ben had somehow picked the lock on his bedroom door and was in the bedroom with him.

I raced back towards the room and what I saw was something that I would find most unsettling. Ben had crawled up onto MJ and was nibbling on his private parts. There was blood everywhere and what may or may not have been a perfectly normal set of family jewels now resembled a partially eaten sausage.

On the side of the head of MJ's penis was the first of a series of bite marks. The plumpness of the tip of his cock had been gnawed like a meatsicle and the flesh was all grinded up and spewing and oozing blood all over the sheets of MJ's bed. The bites were all down the side of the penis and caverned into a large gash in his left testicle. Blood was pumping in rivers down the side of MJ's body and was piled so deep upon the bed that he almost seemed to be submerged in the pools of his plasmic gushing.

His screaming pierced my tiny eardrums with daggers of sound and a clarity that was painful to the point of nearly making me nauseous. I needed to leave the room to get a grip and catch a moment of silence, but I was overcome with the even more definitive notion that Ben needed to get the Fuck out the house, off the property, and as far away from me as possible.

I had never wanted to bring harm to another member of the Vermin species until that night. But I had welcomed my cousin and brother in Filth into the comforts of my existence and he had not only literally shit all over the place, but he took a chunk out of my master and good friends penis.

The staff came to call and it took three of those pricks with snappy suits on to get Ben off of MJ's cock and put him off the grounds. He was in fact ripped away from the sex toy made chew toy in mid-gnaw and tore off a large sliver of skin from the underside of the organ. I was standing across the room on a toy chest to be out of the way of the commotion and saw this from a really grotesque angle.

Ben was nibbling on the flap underneath the head of MJ's penis and had sunk his front teeth deep into the meaty rolls of flesh and at that instant was pulled away. With his extraction came the unrolling of penile skin and it unfurled the entire section of the bottom portion of MJ's member. It was almost like watching somebody unwrap a tootsie roll made of man meat, and I was so overcome with revulsion at the squirming and screaming of MJ when this happened that I found myself wincing and looking away.

Ben was tossed off the property and I would never see him again, which is good for both me and him because if I ever did see him again I don't think I would be able to refrain myself from sticking a toothpick into his tiny Rat asshole and breaking it off.

MJ never held me responsible for what happened. He knew I was just being hospitable to family and that hospitality got abused terribly. Not my fault, and while I did respect him for never taking it out on me, things were never the same for me at the Neverland Ranch Compound after that and I completely believe that whole experience directly lead to me being forced to leave there.

MJ became obsessed with trying to repair his ravaged and shredded manhood, but he could never repair the damage done. I saw some home movies on the internet many years later that he made with Macauley Culkin and his junk was truly junked.

Not being able to replenish the beef on his baloney pony took its toll on MJ and he eventually went mad. He started getting nose jobs and face fucks and before long he didn't even resemble a human anymore as much as he did some bizarre freakish atrocity.

I always found it ironic that when MJ was only a little boy he had sung an ode to Ben. But when I asked him about the whole movie and song thing all he had told me was that some Hollywood execs had said they were making a movie about a Rat and would he be so kind as to contribute a theme song. So, the song Ben was actually sang from the purest heart that would ever beat inside of a human chest cavity and be a complete work of fantasy.

That movie was fantasy too. It didn't even begin to touch on the Filth and spoil that is my cousin Ben. Genital Ben.

That night Ben seemed Hell bent on wreaking havoc in the house and life of MJ. He had never said anything to me, but maybe he was upset about that song and the movie. If that was the case he picked the wrong tool to chomp on. I can think of a ton of bloated Hollywood movie Fucks that deserved to have their sausages grinded into Rat food way more than boy wonder did.

Ben wouldn't have listened though. He marches to his own beat, that Rat Fuck Prick Chewing Turd Burglar. He gives us Vermin a rusty nail of a reputation. I have no idea where he is and I don't ever wanna know.

I wasn't named after that furry shit stain. The name Ben has been around for centuries. Genital Ben is just one of legion. Despite my tolerance for my own kind, I hope that he gets a hold of some diseased and rancid sausage and gets the meanest case of Rat shits known to infect a Rat bowel. Although, knowing that fucker.... he would probably enjoy that.






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