I don't know shit about science fiction. Just never dug on all that stuff.
I mean, is it just me or does this guy look like he has an ass crack on his face?
Space ships and space stations. . . . Warp speed, hyper speed, lightspeed, light years. . . . galaxies, dimensions. . . . ions, eons. . . . . inner space, outer space, interface. . . . . . none of this stuff means anything to me.
I wouldn't know a black hole from a blacklight or an asteroid from an asshole. . . . . okay yeah, maybe I would know that last one. If nothing else, by smell alone.
I like horror. I have always looked at horror and science fiction as mortal foes. Maybe some people enjoy both whole-heartedly. But I always fathomed that you either dug really hard on one or the other.
Alien life forms.
Klingons. Ewoks and Yodas. Sorry, but I just can't get my juices flowing and nads pumped up over something called Jar Jar Binks or Jabba the Hut. Just sounds silly to me. Bunch of intergalactic fuckheads.
Now, vampires and zombies and demons and ghosts and serial killers? Yeah, bitch. Now you're talking my language.
I remember checking out science fiction type stuff when I was a kid. That whole curiosity thing, ya know? I turned on Doctor Who once and watched about five minutes of that nonsense and then went and turned on some Christopher Lee.
I was at a friends house once and he was going on and on about the enterprise and Spock and all of that shit. Hey, I’m down for whatever. I checked it out. I guess I just can't get past weird dudes with pointy ears flying around in space ships and vaporizing each other. It's even lamer than it sounds when you try and watch it.
Vaporize; neutralize. . . whatever you call it. Goo. Ooze. Slime. I just called it interplanetary jizz. . . . or jazz, depending on the origin of spew.
Battlestar Galactica. . . . . Galaxy Quest. . . . . Space 1999. . . V. . . seriously, give me some flesh eating zombies and a messy decapitation any day.
When you're a kid that curiosity thing just eats you. It killed the cat. But it pokes the hearts and minds of children until they just get bored and wanna go watch Peter Cushing instead.
When I was ten years old I stood in a line down the block just like everybody else to see that Star Wars mess. Just wasn't my thing. As the years went on I dove deeper and deeper into horror and resigned myself to the fact that space suits and Jedi knights were just lame and battles beyond the stars were best left there.
But, I can appreciate and recognize great cinema and there have been some things that I enjoyed that might have been considered either science fiction or crossover sci-fi/horror movies.
Instantly the Alien movies come to mind. After all, who doesn't like those? They rule. Well, the first couple do.
I remember when I was in fifth grade we had this teacher named Mrs. Bayles. She always stuck out with the kids because most of our teachers were these crusty old ladies and she was younger and far more hip to us impressionables.
One thing that I always remember about her was that during homeroom she would sit everybody down and talk about whatever movie her and her husband went to see that weekend. They both were horror fans and it was usually horror movies she told us about. As you might have guessed, I always dug that a whole lot.
One thing that I will always remember was her telling us that her and hubbie had just seen one of the most terrifying movies they had ever seen and we were all probably too young to have our parents take us.
This man had an alien jump on his face and plant an embryo in his mouth and when he went to the dinner table, seeming to be normal, he fell on the table and his chest exploded and this monster thingie ripped out of his chest cavity.Whoa! All the kids whose parents never take them to cool movies were totally flipped out.
I guess I was a little annoyed that she had spoiled the surprise and shock of what happened to this guy though. She figured none of us would be allowed to see it. But while the other children gasped wide-eyed with horror I was busy taking a mental note of the next movie my parents would be taking me to see.
Alien (1979) was a perfect blend of science fiction and horror in my opinion. It was dark and creepy and they made you wait before you got to see the creature in all of its glory.Though it works a little better if you don't know that it jumps out of dudes chest.
As great as this film was I actually found the sequel, Aliens (1986), to be even better.
It did what few sequels have been able to do. Attack the viewer from a completely different angle and present its continuation of the story in a fresh and entirely newfound genius that took everything that made the first film so enjoyable and turned it on its ass.
A lot of people didn't really care much for the third alien film. It’s not as great as the first two. But, as trilogies go I found all three films to be entertaining on their own merits and one thing I enjoyed most about it was surely something many despised. Alien 3 (1992) harked more back to the brooding and gloomy spirit of the first Alien film rather than the explosive jubilance of Aliens. Personally, I thought this was pretty cool.
I can't really dig on the fourth movie, Alien: Resurrection (1997) though. Winona Ryder and aliens just don't mix very well.
Alien is not the first film to mix science fiction with horror elements. Films like these were a staple of the 50's and 60's. All filled with really cheesy looking monsters, robots and space ships that came down to earth hell bent on conquering mankind.
I always thought The Blob (1958) was pretty funny. That remake they did in 1988-kicked ass though. If you are going to see one version of The Blob, this is totally the one to see.
By the 70's and 80's special effects technology had grown to such a level that these monsters and aliens were no longer cheesy but could be quite frightening and do some horrific and gory damage. For more proof check out John Carpenters 1982 remake of The Thing (1951). One of the best films ever made in my opinion. Of any genre.
Still, while there are several different sci-fi/horror crossovers, the Alien films are certainly the most notorious. After becoming a huge hit the inevitable knock offs and variations were rolled out. Sure, many are pretty bad. But, some are actually worth checking out and damn good movies on their own merits.
Species (1995) is probably one of the more notorious of these rip offs. Sort of like Alien with tits and ass. What's not to like there?
Instead of running amok in a distant galaxy, the blonde haired extraterrestrial pin up doll of the Species films mates and pillages around Los Angeles leaving a trail of death and glop everywhere in her quest to populate the earth with her . . . . . ummm. . . . Species. . . . . and rule the world.
The first two Species films (second one was released in 1998) are great in my opinion. I never saw the other two. Didn’t need to. I got my fill of that whole thing and I'm done there.
Creature aka Titan Find (1985) is a very cool Alien rip off.
Cheesy acting and dialogue highlight this one. It’s also pretty gory and features an appearance by the always nutty, and super fun, Klaus Kinski.
Contamination aka Alien Contamination (1980) is one of my favorite of these films.
This film stars Ian McCulloch from Zombie and Zombie Holocaust in a gory as hell tale about alien eggs that spew toxic goo that makes people explode. It also features a spectacular score by Goblin as well.Greatness all across the board!
Horror Planet aka Inseminoid (1981) is one that toplines the so bad that it's good category.
This sleazy piece of space dung is complete with horrid acting and dialogue, but it's perverted and gory as hell. I found it to be lots of fun.
The Hidden (1987) isn't really an Alien rip off but it would certainly appeal to anybody into those films.
Starring Kyle MaClachlan fresh off Blue Velvet, this action packed sci-fi thriller plays out sort of like a more testosterone-fueled version of the Species films minus the tits and ass, mixed with the fugitive. Think also an intergalactic take on Lethal Weapon and you have an out of this world recipe for thrills galore.
The Deadly Spawn (1983) is a must see.
It's a cheesy and over the top gore fest about an alien life form that comes to earth, grows to mammoth size and eats everybody it can get its teeth into. This one is a favorite.
They Came from Within aka Shivers (1975) is sort of a cross between a psychological thriller and horror movie told ala a perverted sex tale with a dash of science fiction.
This is a classic film and the beginning of ace director, David cronenbergs, horror years. The parasitic chest bursting scene also pre-dates Alien by about four years.
Xtro (1983) was more like a vile response to the more cuddlier alien of the Steven Spielberg kind than the Alien films.
But the scene where a woman gives birth to a grown man is a must see.You'll want to rewind this scene again and again and again.
These films are just some of the more sleazier and entertaining of the science fiction/horror/thriller crossovers that I have enjoyed. The sleazier and the cheesier the better I always have said.
Another early favorite of mine was just given the digital treatment and I managed to re-visit it after having not seen it for many years. The film is called Galaxy of Terror and was released in 1981 at the height of the Alien rip off craze.
This film is certainly set apart from many of the others due to a truly spectacular cast that over acts and reacts in an otherwise typical tale of space set horror.
The film tells a tale of a crew sent to a distant planet to investigate the disappearance of another crew. They are drawn into a cavern at the planets surface that houses a mysterious pyramid. Before long heads explode, body parts are severed and in the most famous scene a woman is raped by a giant space worm.
This film is headlined by a cast that is a b-movie lover’s wet dream.
The ships captain, who is plagued by the demons of a failed previous mission is played by a pre-Twin Peaks Grace Zabriskie.
The cook is a pre-Mr. Hand Ray Walston, who was also of course made famous for playing on My Favorite Martian.
Chachi might have loved Joanie. But that was on earth. In space Erin Moran plays a struggling and unfortunate empath named Alluma and the galaxy loves her more than Chachi ever could.
Before becoming the erotic maverick known for doing the Red shoe Diaries, Zalman King was an actor. He turned in a brilliantly nutty performance in Blue Sunshine (1976) and in this film as a most annoying antagonist who butts head with everybody else.
The film also features a young Robert England as a crewman who gets to kick his own ass in a great scene. You also get b-movie legend Sid Haig as well.
There would be several take offs of the Alien films but Galaxy of Terror should be at the top of the list for any film fan to see. If you are looking for cheesy fun, gore, and thrills this is a film that delivers on all levels.
I still don't really enjoy science fiction all that much. Next to war movies and westerns it has become one of my least favorite film genres. But, there shall always be exceptions to the rule.
The films I mentioned top the list. Starship Troopers is great gory fun. I love Blade Runner. Logun's Run. A Clockwork Orange is considered science fiction somehow. These are all some of my very favorites.
I never rush to see new or old science fiction films though. Just not my thing. Never has been and never will be. It’s just too weird for me. Classic case in point?
The 1974 Sean Connery film Zardoz.
Something about building a utopian society while flying around in a giant godhead.
Ah, space the final frontier. Well, maybe for somebody else. Me? I’d much rather hang at castle Dracula or zombie island. Who cares if you might get your neck bitten or your flesh eaten? The air is free and you don't need to wear a monkey suit.
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