A flick like Bloodsucking Freaks could certainly never be made today. Not because it’s impossible to throw up loads of violence and nudity, but because the heart of something like this just does not seem to beat any longer. It's so sadistic and over the top that it's comical. I love that shit. As time has marched on the human race has become way too sensitive when it comes to art and entertainment. This is probably due to the fact that real life only seems to get crazier and crazier. So, why not fluff down our escape methods? I like it sick though, and am always gonna like it sick. I'm a sick fuck. Sickness itself is a valid artform. Different blog though.
Ah, but movies and such are not what they used to be. As made abundantly clear in recent years, anybody with a camera and a hard on for cash can have some friends over and drink and smoke the group into an exhibitionist stupor. Girls might get naked and CGI can do up some not so special effects, but every single thing that a flick like Bloodsucking Freaks does with perverted charm and mad exploitive genius, the trash turned out these days just gets it wrong and finds itself being dumpster worthy and void of any cult appeal what so ever. The real problem with todays cinema? Nobody makes "flicks" anymore. Make no mistake about it, Bloodsucking Freaks is a flick. Call it silly. Call it exploitation. Call it sick. Color it awesome and then recognize that it's a flick though. Not a movie or a film or a joint. A good old fashioned classic flick of the highest order.
Critics and people with artsier taste in cinema might be able to lament that this 1976 exploitation classic is the epitome of trash itself. A point that simply can not and will not ever be disputed. Therein lies its greatest charm. The 70's was a time that birthed trashy exuberance that ages like filthy wine. Such filth is far superior to any basement tape made today that is loaded down with sex and violence and slapped up on the Internet or in a DVD case.
Bloodsucking Freaks is a delightfully, too sleazy for its own good, fetid little gutbucket that is filled to the ass cavity with torture, nudity, entertainment value and gore galore.
It is safe to say that if you sit down to watch something with such a title, that you will be delivered every excess of expectation that can be harbored for a fan of such a flick. All the right ingredients for a true exploitation classic are present, from the cheesy dialogue and acting right down to that bizarre keyboard music on the soundtrack.
Somewhat of a more perverse companion piece to Herschel Gordon Lewis' The Wizard of Gore, it was also known as The Incredible Torture Show back in the day.
I have always much preferred the non-sublety of the title Bloodsucking Freaks though, as there is simply no mistaking what the viewer is going to get. Plenty of blood. Plenty of freaky shit. Totally. Bring it.
A tender hearted tale about a master who loves his subjects and takes pride in his craft . . . . . okay, that is a complete lie . . . . . Bloodsucking Freaks tells the story of a Grand Guignol style S & M show that is run by Sardu, master of the theatre and the macabre.
With his loyal and too damn funny assistant, a midget named Ralphus, the master and faithful servant torture not all together willing participants onstage to a delighted crowd.
Sardu begs his audience to reckon whatever shall bring them greater comfort, the knowledge of whether the sights they behold are real or unreal. This perverse lesson in ethics all the while slopping up the stage with blood and body parts. Of course, everybody believes the gruesome happenings to be illusion, and Sardu and company captivate the attention and wonder of everybody except a visibly unimpressed theatre critic named Creasy Silo.
Silo informs Sardu that he is so insulted by the amateurish nature of the production that he wouldn't even waste his time or space with a review, good or bad. Of course this pisses off Sardu royally, and he sends one of his slaves in a trench coat and brandishing a large dildo, to unwillingly fetch the grumbling critic.
Once the dastardly head master of all that is sadistic and perverse kidnaps the theatre critic and torments him in an effort to garner a good review, the bulk of the running time revolves around a prestigious ballet dancer that is also kidnapped and forced to dance in Sardu's upcoming production. Trailed by the dancers boyfriend and an annoying cop on the take, the happenings continue at a brisk pace, loaded down with plenty of fun and torture for the whole family. Along the way we are treated to amputations, beheadings, whippings, human dartboards, and lots of great scenes with midget dancing, courtesy of Ralphus.
In one classic scene, a girl has her skull drilled into and then her brains sucked out through a straw. How could any true horror or exploitation fan not adore a flick like that?
Fans of 70's bush who mourn an era when women knew nothing of pruning and smoothness will be enchanted into a delirium frenzy as there is more shrubbery on display than one might find in a Brazilian rain forest.
There is also some great dialogue, including my all time favorite line ever . . . . . "her mouth will make an interesting urinal." Now try and tell me again how anybody would have the wizardry and creative soul to make a flick like this today? I don't think so.
Bloodsucking Freaks has been called many things. Controversial. Vile. Disgusting. One of the worst movies ever made. To this I must implore..... STOP calling this a movie! It's a flick! I think anybody who would use any of these adjectives to describe a flick like this in such a way is sadly missing the point. It’s just like anything else . . . . You either get it . . . . . or you don't. For those that do get it . . . and those that would like to . . . . . this is a must see flick and a whole lot of sleazy and gory fun!
****Original post date 9/10/2010****
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