Okay, I admit it.... I am a Netflix instant junkie.
I don't really pay much attention to the major releases that most people seem to be concerned with. I'm more likely to dig deep within the stinking bowels of their inventory and rent the most outlandish and obscure films that you may or may not have ever heard of. Some of which might be so off the wall that most people would hesitate to even watch them. I am not most people though. I am the Gitche Manitou. Bow down and lick the crusty BIG TOE, bitches.
I'm always keeping tabs on the old classics that are just now or soon to be getting proper digital releases. Galaxy of terror, Piranha, and Humanoids from the deep are just some of the staples of my youth that I shall at last soon be revisiting very soon. Really looking forward to seeing all of these again.
I am pretty picky when it comes to new movies and I am sick to death of these shitty remakes. I spend a lot of time renting and watching older movies I might have missed or some films I have maybe seen multiple times and always enjoy.
Still, I love horror movies and I will gladly watch anything that looks even remotely interesting. I might not wind up liking it.... but hey, I'll watch it..... or at least give it a try.
My stack of movies that I have yet to watch is like a mountain filled with mayhem. Every few weeks or so I like to reach into the stack and grab a pile of flicks and then sit down and watch them over the next few days.
Probably the best new movie I have seen recently is a film I just blogged about, Babysitter Wanted. In my latest stack of crap I found some worthwhile enough entertainment. Nothing that blew me away. But, if you're looking for something cheesy and sleazy, you could do a whole lot worse.
I just came off of a movie binge over the last few days and here is what I watched and a synopsis to give you an idea if it's something that might be worth picking up for your viewing pleasure.
Blood on the Highway.
Not so much a straight up horror film as it is a horror comedy. A group of friends take a detour through a Texas town that is filled with vampires. Very cheaply made but still quite enjoyable. It's funny and gory. Worth a look if you're into stuff like Zombieland or Shaun of the Dead.
Someone's Knocking at the Door.
Two deviant sexual serial killers go on a murderous rampage and fuck people to death. This underground film is pretty low on budget but it's quite entertaining. It's perverted and brutal. This one is not for everybody, but if you're looking for something that is pretty off the wall this will totally do you up.
Hit and Run.
If movies were turds this one would be dogshit that gets on your shoe and won't come off. A coed gets drunk and runs over some guy. When she wakes up and realizes what she has done and see's him hanging on her hood, she beats him to death and buries him, only to have him come back and terrorize her. This one was pretty boring. It's not very original either.
The Sickhouse.
An archeologist and some drunk kids find themselves trapped inside of an old hospital that has been unearthed where a doctor did cruel experiments on people. Angry spirits make a lot of noise but it's too dark to actually see anything that goes on. It's got that jittery Blair witch feel to it, only way darker.... and I don't mean darker as in morbid.... darker as in you seriously can't see half the fucking movie. I find myself still in a field of dogshit and I am singing oops I stepped in it again.....
I Sell the Dead.
Man, this has some major selling points. Dominic Monaghan. Angus Scrimm. Corpses. Zombies. This one is as well more of a horror comedy. Somewhat of a cartoonish and dark fantasy about graverobbers. It's actually not too bad, just a little slow. Still, it's watchable if you're looking for something darkly funny and a little off the wall.
Legion.
A bunch of people gather at a truck stop to battle crazy demons and angels gone renegade that include a nutty old lady who crawls on the ceiling and spews obscenities. The first half hour or so is actually very promising but it slows down to a thud and stays put. Sort of in that relgious themed thriller vein ala Seventh Sign and Bless the Child only not as good. I did quite enjoy that crazy old lady on the ceiling though. She should have her own reality show.
The Collector.
From the makers of some of the Saw movies comes this dark and gory thriller that looks and feels just like... surprise! ....a Saw movie. A thief is trapped in a house that has been boobytrapped with cool things like bear traps and guillotines. The action is plentiful and things do get quite gory as the thief finds himself allied with the house residents that he intended to rip off in trying to escape from the house alive from the bizarre masked murderer known as... yep, the collector. Hey, I never said it was original. Still, if you do enjoy the Saw movies, like me, this one is certainly worth a look.
Freeway Killer.
This one is based on the true story of some guy who lured young men into his van and murdered them. I watched about half of this and cut it off. Not my thing at all. Very low budget and not even remotely entertaining in my opinion.
Sick Girl.
This movie opens up with a teenage girl on a schoolbus peeing on a nun and being thrown off the bus. She proceeds to kill a bunch of people and have screaming fits at the drop of a dime. But, she means well because she loves her little brother, who is tormented by kids that the so called sickgirl has locked up in the barn. This one was extremely low budget and just silly. There is also a really ridiculous castration scene. There are two words that I never thought I'd say together. Ridiculous castration.
Smash Cut.
Another horror comedy. This one looked too good to be true. David Hess. Michael Berryman. A cameo by Herschell Gordon Lewis. In fact, the film is a gore soaked tribute to the godfather of gore himself. It was all too good to be true though and therefore it's pretty bad actually. It's about a director that is vilified for his shitty movies and unrealistic looking special effects until he begins to start killing people and using real body parts. The comedy is not funny and the gory happenings are just fake as hell. A real letdown. The irony here is that it's about shitty movies and unrealistic looking special effects and it turns out to be..... a shitty movie with unrealistic looking special effects.
So, that is my most recent pile of new horror releases. Nothing spectacular, but a few of them were worth a look if you're not too picky. I've certainly seen worse. I'm sure i'll be doing this again as I am always watching movies all the time. Seriously..... all the time. Watching. Again again.
*****Original post date 7/19/2010*****
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