Thursday, October 22, 2015

HALLOWEENIE FUN: FIVE WORD HORROR STORIES


Manitou and Regan have been busy.





Nothing gets in the way of life and Halloween blogging more than.... well, life.

It's a shame we have not been able to post as much as we want. Last year I grooved and ghouled through a pile of books that were considered horrors best. The only book I have I have read so far this October month is Burnt Offerings by Robert Marasco.





The film is an all time favorite.





So when I got the chance to sneak in some reading this was the first thing my fingers rested upon.





Sadly, this looks to be maybe the only book I shall get to read. Even sadder was the fact that it wasn't all that great.





On the writing front I stumble and stagnate even greater. Today being my day off though I thought I would try. Something I saw gave me an even bigger push.







Last season I did a blog of ten word horror stories. That sure was fun.

So then today I saw someone mention five word horror stories. Boy, is that going to be hard!  Fun fun again again though.... and away we go:


1) Woke up smiling. Died laughing.



2) Going to Moms house. Yikes.



3) Beasts fed. Stomach my home.



4) Forest blooming. Ground is bleeding.



5) This apocalypse makes me hungry.



6) Corpses reanimated from Halloween's arrival.



7) The darkness breeds maniacal children.



8) Flesh is gorging itself quietly.



9) Humanity tastes like rotting meat.



10) Cars. Pedestrians. Metal. Bones. Party.



11) Stillborn babies for wicked parents.











Friday, October 16, 2015

FEEEEEEEET LOAF: 'TIS WHAT'S FOR HALLOWEEN DINNER






Chopped at the ankle-
'tis a meaty good loaf-
fit for a stomach-

whether royal or oaf.
Shavings for toe nails-
fruity and ripe-
let us pray in the morning
we won't forget how to wipe.








 Praying in the morning-
it's what we will do-
after eating this feet loaf-
may God help us poo.
May our TP be strong-
and our endurance be lots-
as we sit on the throne-
and wipe off the clots! 







Friday, June 12, 2015

A TRIBUTE TO A NON LIVING AND UNDEAD LEGEND- CHRISTOPHER LEE





I once wrote a dual birthday tribute blog for Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.

Not only are these two guys horror legends of the finest order, their dates of birth are only a day apart!

How awesome is that?

While Cushing has been gone, and much missed, for several years now Christopher Lee was still rocking on in his 90's.




Literally rocking, I tell you, as he has also been knighted and put out a heavy metal concept album.

Sadly though, all reigns must come to a physical end and Lee is pretty much the final nail in the horror coffin to be hammered into history.

Christopher Lee died quietly at a hospital on June 7th but news of his death only hit the internet yesterday, June 11th.

In the day and age of media scrambling I am not in the least bit certain how his family managed to pull this delay in announcement off but I must say kudos for them! Christopher Lee was, and always will, one of the greatest horror/acting icons of all time and it only seems proper for his family to have a few days to grieve privately before all media Hell can be let loose.

But the news is out now and now grieving is what we all must do. In celebration, of course, because I mean seriously, this man had quite a career.







Years ago he was part of the most elite horror squad known to all kind. Literal royalty along with Peter Cushing, whom he enjoyed a long running friendship with, and Vincent Price. 




Both of those gentlemen have been in the great beyond for some time now and now their friend, and fellow horror legend, has joined them.

His filmography is over 200 strong, this is not even including his television appearances.

He was Dracula.





He was Frankenstein's creature.





He was the Mummy.





He was Sherlock Holmes.





He was Dr. Fu Manchu.





He was Rasputin.





He was the Bloody Judge.






He was Rochefort of the musketeers.





He gave us one of the coolest Bond villians ever in Scaramanga.





He was Dr. Catheter in Gremlins 2.





He was the Burgomaster of Sleepy Hollow.







He was in two of the most successful film franchises of all time, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars

AND

he was Willy Wonka's dad, Wilbur.





He has been Lucifer and Ramses and the President.

He even played Death itself multiple times.

He was a central part of my childhood.

Along with Cushing, Price and Carl Kolchak himself, Darren Mcgavin, Christopher Lee pretty much sealed my early horror fan-dom with a scarlet exclamation point.

I don't think there has been, nor will there ever be, anybody who so truly defines cool and the horror genre itself greater than Christopher Lee.




I am sad to hear of his passing but I am overjoyed that he had such a long and illustrious career and it is with great pride that I offer up this tribute by calling for all who remember him to pay tribute of their own. He has so many great roles to choose from and now, more than ever, seems like a good time to re-visit them.




RIP good sir. It's been a long and terrifying journey with you and though you just left us we miss you already.

But your work lives on.

Hallelujah and Gory be thy name!






Thursday, February 5, 2015

FIVE YEAR FILTH POSSESSED ME AGAIN AGAIN







Hot damn!

Cold sweat.






I'm breaking out in a fever-

you got me possessed.







When I'm with you

my heart is limber-

like a graveyard made of wood

and somebody yelled timber.







The veins are popping up almost right out of my skin-

like snakes crawling all up from underneath-

charmed to the sweet music you're playing.







Like a long distance dedication on the radio of my heart-

crusted-

dusted-

from the fading static-

my knobs no longer busted.







Now I'm shaking in my boots-

like a bowl filled with Elvis jello.


You got me turning-

burning-

no longer yearning-

twisted up and chewed-

spit out on the table top-

ready to be devoured-


by you YOU and ONLY YOU! 






Now I'm just like a pretzel-

all hot with fire and ready to be lathered in your special sauce.






 

Gimme a shot of that love from your pea popping pistol-

my head turns right 'round baby 'round-








and before I know it-

whoops there I go

falling down the steps-

to lay in wait-

knowing that as long as you wear your filthy frightgown







you'll come on down

to pick me up-

and spider walk right into the black hole of my soul-








so I can be possessed

again again-






again.


***In celebration of our first five filthy years tou-gether. We're just getting started.

From Manitou,

with love,

to Filthy Regan.***